Break The Mold With These Unique 4th Date Destinations

Most people are so concerned about the first few dates that they don’t know what to do when things start going smoothly. Once the third date has come and gone, it’s time to mix things up a bit to keep them everything from becoming too monotonous.

The fourth date is also a great opportunity to slightly alter the “dating rules” that you have become accustomed to. One of the biggest questions that pops up when planning a date is figuring out who is going to pay for the activities. The most commonly accepted rule for this is to have the man pay for the first few dates (as well as plan them) but then let the woman have some input on what to do and who pays after the third date.

In some ways, these following dates can be more interesting and fun than the initial ones because of the fact that there is no pressure for impressing one another. Take what you’ve learned about your date and utilize it so that you both can enjoy something fun.

Men will appreciate the fact that they don’t have tremendous pressure trying to think up where to go and how to pay for it while women can feel more comfortable helping pay for things that they want to do with their date. While some men may find it hard to believe, but there are some women who feel more guilty when everything is paid for them; they like to pay for some things and help out as well. It’s a win-win situation where both parties involved can relax a bit more and focus on what to do together rather than their financial situations.

When it comes to what to do specifically, it’s important to think about what you may have wanted to do, but couldn’t. This could be due to planning or financial issues, but letting the other half of your date chime in on what they want to do can provide great insight on their personality as well. By acknowledging the fact that the date will be split, more fun things can be done together. For example, you can go to a fancy restaurant or concert by a musician that you both like. Places like the zoo or amusement park are fun, but can be costly when just one person is paying for the tickets. Adventurous types can go out on a big thrilling adventure like skydiving or parasailing; something that would be almost impossible for one person to pay for alone.

If you’re still stuck for ideas, try thinking about the opposite of what you have been doing so far. Have you typically been going out at night? Try a lunch picnic at the park or go to the museum and take a nice walk through each exhibit. If you’ve been indoors for most of your dates, go somewhere that’s out in the open with fresh air. Go on a hike or biking through some trails. These types of changes not only alter the scenery around you, but they give you a chance to try different things that aren’t available during other times of the day.

On the other hand, you can try something that you both aren’t comfortable with and overcome the challenge together. Face your fears and go to a haunted house or check out a new comedy club for the first time. Trying something different as a couple means that you have someone there you can rely on, and that can be the foundation of many more great memories to come. Even though some are hesitant to step out of their comfort zone, they may be willing to do so if you let them know you are equally as uncomfortable, but want to try something new with them.

By the time you have gone through 3 dates, you should have a decent grasp on what your partner likes to do and what interests they have. This 4th date can be a great way to show them that you have been listening to what they are talking about and have the same interests as them. The 4th date is the starting point to the next phase in a serious relationship, and it helps peel away boundaries that keep us from being comfortable. By sharing the planning phase as well as the paying of certain activities, you are letting your partner know that you like being around them and want them to feel comfortable as well. Take some new risks together and don’t do the typical dinner and movie setup after the first few dates; you’ll get more out of it that way.

Leave A Reply (6 comments so far)


  1. Emily
    10 years ago

    I think having a guy pay the first couple of times is a tradition – it sort of tells what his intentions are. But things have gotten way to expensive to go out every weekend unless two sources of income are financing it. I think after the 3rd or 4th date, the rules change and the woman should foot some of the bill if she can.


  2. Jennifer D.
    10 years ago

    Great post. I agree – by the 4th date, the woman she play a more active role. These days, several dates in and both of you know what each other’s intentions are. There is no better time than then for the woman to exert herself in the date decision making. Maybe there is something she really wants to share with him – like a favorite club or museum.


  3. Jenna
    10 years ago

    well wow…I am so not skilled as a tour guide, entertainer, nor have a clue what’s outside my for walls, so I guess if I met someone of interest…id have a new topic to google. Good mentions in this post other than the 10 mile bike ride. Unless it was a tandum with a shorter turn around point.

    As for the money topic, I personally have no clue how girls can expect the guy to pay for everything every single time. I shake my head in confusion each time I hear those dreaded stories.
    Here is one that caused me to shake my head in disbelief…
    Guy: Johnny Angel
    Girl: Someone from dating site

    They agree to meet for a dinner date. Ok no big deal right?
    Well, when its time to meet for the first time ,
    Girl says lets meet her at the grocery store, I have a few things to pick up.
    Guy: Ok see you at albersons at 8pm
    Well, she gets her items and when its time to pay she passes the pay area and looks back at him to bring out his wallet, which he does ( keep in mind this guy doesn’t have a high paying job)
    Girl: Ok now, could we stop by starbucks to pick up a tea? I need one really bad before we head to the dinner house.
    Guy: Sure , what would you like? He orders for her and orders nothing for himself
    Girl: Ok, now lets go to dinner at this really fancy place down in west Hollywood.
    So he goes to expensive place wondering if she is going to order steak and lobster. She didnt but might as well have drinks and dinner at a fancy place can add up quickly.
    So, they finish dinner and ….
    Girl: I really enjoyed dinner. Thank you. Could we now go just down the block a little ? There is this very fancy place with the best desserts.
    He can’t believe this chick, but she was hot and he was already out with her. Maybe a piece of ass if I keep spending.
    So, they leave the dinner house to go to yet another place for dessert.
    Of course having him pick up the tab the entire night.
    Well, when dessert was done and his wallet empty, although he doesnt tell her that, She ends the night with a kiss on the cheek, gets in her car and drives off.
    He never called her again. haha poor guy

    I don’t play that game. When I was married it didnt matter who paid cuz it all came out of the same bank account anyways, but when I had a boyfriend we did this which worked for our dating style. When we went out to dinner, he paid. When we stayed in, I paid. Sometimes i’d make a trip to the grocery store and came back with all the needed goodies and sometimes i’d order from the store-to-door place or pizza delivery. This seemed to work out well. Especially, since he liked to get out of the house and I liked to stay in. This forced me out at times and forced him to stay in at times. win-win 🙂

    Dating can be all over the map for no two people are alike. so I say…wait to worry. Ive got a box of chocolates. All pieces are good but some better than others. Which will you choose?


  4. bree
    10 years ago

    Museums, zoos and anywhere else you can have a nice outdoor picnic are some really good ideas. Adventure dates are also good, things like kayaking or kite boarding make for some good outdoor fun in the water.


  5. Leanne
    10 years ago

    We went to New Orleans on our 4th date. I know a little bit over the top but my (now husband) is a Blues and Jazz musician and it was somewhere he had always wanted to go. At the point we actually stayed in separate rooms. I know that probably sounds weird to some people but sex wasn’t something we rushed into. We became best friends first. Maybe that’s why 10 years later it still works so well.


  6. Jessica Edwards
    10 years ago

    These are some good ideas. By the fourth date you usually know is you can spend the whole day with someone or not. I’m an outdoor person and go for that time of person. I like to usually do something like pack a picnic lunch and hit the bike trail for a long ride. Its good exercise, good conversation and a bite to eat along the way. A fun way to spend the day without breaking the bank.