He thinks I cheated but I swear I didn’t

Hello my name is Mickey and I have watched your videos and still have one big question…

What is it that makes a man think you are cheating?

My story behind this is I met whom I thought would one day be my other half…I made sure to ask him if he got jelious easily and when he said yes, I made sure to let him know some of my closest friends were males…

When I went homecoming with my closest friend he freaked because he had already graduated so I couldnt go with him…

We were together for almost two years when he left me and when my friends ask him why he says its because I cheated…I just wish I knew a way to prove to him I loved him too much to ever cheat…

Because it really hurts not being wrapped in his arms every night, and not waking up and hearing his vioce say I love you….

Not to mention we were two weeks from walking down the isle…Joshua please help…Im lost without him and all I want is at least one more hug

Hey Mickey,

It sounds like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place and didn’t even realize it.

From what you described, I can see the argument from both of your points of view.

As far as you’re concerned, you didn’t do anything wrong. You simply went to the dance with a platonic friend since your boyfriend wasn’t able to make it.

However you were already aware that he is a very jealous guy, so I’m wondering if you bothered to ask him if he minded that you were going.

Regardless if anything happened with you and your friend or not, your boyfriend feels betrayed. A lot of guys become jealous very quickly, and he probably assumed that your friend was going to try and sleep with you. Since you were happy to go to the dance with him, your boyfriend may have been under the impression that you did in fact cheat on him.

In his head there was not much of a difference between spending romantic time with another man, and actually sleeping with him.

Most likely he dumped you because he felt that you turned your back on him, and he just couldn’t stand the thought of that…

But none of that is really important at this point. The only thing that really matters is that you get him back, right?

I’m pretty sure you’ve tried pleading with him, and begging him to believe you. But that doesn’t seem to have done the trick.

Depending on the situation a lot of times you can get men to come back to you by making him jealous, but seeing as that is what drove him away in the first place we’re going to try a different approach.

If your boyfriend really loves you as much as you say, than he is in a ton of pain every day that he is not with you. However, his stubbornness and lack of trust have built a wall around him that he simply cannot climb over. And when you’ve tried to help him over the wall, it’s only made things worse, so you’re actually going to need to take a bit of a back seat for a little bit.

See, in your boyfriends mind you and he used to be a team. But since you went to the dance with another guy, he feels that you left being his teammate for someone else.

So now you need to make him realize that not only are you and he going to be teammates forever, but he has absolutely nothing to worry about since there’s no other team in the world you’d rather be on…

There’s a few different ways you can pull this off, but let’s look at the strategy I’d use, and then break down the important details (so you can custom tailor it for situation).

Imagine this, the guy you went to the dance with approaches your boyfriend and says something like:

Mickey loves you more than anything in the world. She was miserable going to the dance without you, and spent half the evening talking about how crazy she is for you. The dance was a huge deal for her, and the school simply said you weren’t allowed to go. She was devastated that you couldn’t be there with her, but she would have regretted not going for a long time… Mickey wants to be with you more than anything and has been crying her eyes out non-stop since you left her… Listen, she’s going to be at [INSERT HIS FAVORITE RESTAURANT HERE] tonight at 8. She really hopes you show up, so you guys can talk.”

There are several reasons this approach is very effective in situations like this:

1 – Guys are constantly in competition with each other. We tend to believe that other guys are trying to sleep with our women. So when you ask your friend to speak on your behalf, it will be much more impactful. Not only is he subconsciously saying “I didn’t try and sleep with her” he’s also saying “She loves you so much, that no matter how hard I may have tried, there would have been nothing I could do to get her in to bed… You won this race by a mile.”

2 – He is constantly being reminded just how much you love him, and that is going to bring up similar emotions in his mind. When he is angry and thinking in a negative way, it’s important to put a smile on his face so he gets in a better mood as soon as possible.

3 – Assuming he is now in a better mood, he is going to want to be with you. Letting him know that you want to meet him at his favorite restaurant is just the icing on the cake. It will make him even more excited to see you, and that can only work in your favor.

Now, there’s not much left that I can do from here. It’s time that you go out and use my techniques for yourself. Good luck!

Talk soon,

Joshua Rose

Leave A Reply (5 comments so far)

  1. Tanya Ostlie
    9 years ago

    Joshua-I like these advice emails you put out and hope you can help me with a problem. . . . I met a man online who is from England and we have been chatting and meeting on Skype for more than a month. Things were going great and we had even told each other we loved each other. Then one day I questioned him on something that was bothering me and he got very angry! He is shy and soft-hearted and became extremely upset and said he would never have questioned me in the same manner. I apologized numerous times and he said all was forgiven but everything is different now. He hardly messages me and he is very kind when we talk but very distant. He had been initiating the calls and messages but now I have to do that. We had been making plans for him to come for a visit and now he doesn’t talk about that and the ends of his messages went from I love you to Warm Regards. Is there anything I can do or do I just move on? It’s very difficult when we are so far apart.
    I would really appreciate any advice you can give me.

  2. [email protected]
    9 years ago

    Seems great. 🙂 I like the idea, and will keep in mind that this could come in handy. 🙂

  3. Trisha
    9 years ago

    Good advice if you want to be with someone who is jealous. I won’t tolerate it. To me it’s a symptom of insecurity and inherent mistrust of the other person. I personally wouldn’t want to win this guy back–you’re just asking for a life of imprisonment by his jealousy.

  4. [email protected]
    9 years ago

    Joshua thank you so much I will use this and email you my result…
    Thanks again

  5. Joan
    9 years ago

    Good information, Joshua. I have tried some of your advice. Have to say it is working. Not together yet but getting closer everyday.