Reasons He Can’t Get It Up

There are a few different reasons why he can’t seem to get it up right when the both of you are in the mood. Not only is this frustrating for you, but it’s insanely frustrating for him, since he will undoubtedly feel like less of a man.

The biggest problem many women may have is the thought that maybe you were the reason. Have you ever had this feeling before?

More times than not, you are not the reason at all and it is simply one of the reasons below that your man is experiencing.

Men and women are very different when it comes to sex. For instance, most women can still perform when they are experiencing a number of the most common pitfalls that will stop a man in his tracks.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the most common reasons you both went to bed disappointed last night:


It is known that alcohol and an erect penis do not necessarily go hand in hand. It’s very common for a man who has been drinking to have trouble performing.

Alcohol is a depressant which means it slows his entire body down,while also making him numb to most physical sensations.

I’m sure you’ve seen a ton of Youtube videos where the “star” is wasted from excessive amounts of drinking, and either falls down a flight of stairs, or gets smacked across his face by one of his moron friends.

Most of the time, he’ll get back up and act like nothing happened. This is because the alcohol made him so numb that he probably didn’t even realize what had happened.

So is there any wonder why his body isn’t able to react the way you’d like when he’s been drinking too much and you try to touch and tease him?

By the way, his body can still be feeling these same negative affects upwards of 48 hours AFTER he finished drinking.


For a lot of us, stress can sap us of our energy and motivation. Sometimes when men are out of energy due to stress, they will not be able to get it up. This can be for a number of reasons.

Maybe he’s going through problems at work, with finances, or even a lack of sleep. Again, this is not related to you in anyway and it is a problem that has to do with your man and his current stress level.

When your body is run down or sore, it is not in the mood to have sex even though your mind tells you otherwise.


If a man is on certain medications, he may not be able to perform as well as he did before or at all.

Medications such as pain killers, heartburn medicine, and other over the counter products can cause an problem in erection.

There are a lot of medications that cause this problem and it is very common to happen. Not to mention all of the problem illegal drugs can cause.

Cigarettes And Or Coffee

Does your significant other smoke or drink a lot of coffee? These are two factors that can influence a problem in sexual performance and may be a reason why he cannot get it up.

The cigarette smoking and caffeine in the coffee can cause erections to be difficult to achieve as the nervous system is affected by both the coffee and smoking.

I know how hard it is sometimes to start your day without a cup of coffee, but having more than 3 cups can affect your mans erection a lot more than you’d realize.

Hidden Medical Conditions

Sometimes, it is possible for a man to have a medical condition. Maybe he knows about it, or maybe he is afraid to discuss it with you.

Men can be secretive about things and not as open as women tend to be, especially when it comes to sexual performance.

If your man has a medical condition such as heart or blood pressure problems, doctor prescribed opiates, numerous drug rehabilitation medicines, and countless others; this could be what is causing him to lose his erection once he gets it or causes him to never get it up.

Before ever even considering taking pills such as Viagra, make sure to speak to your doctor and let him/her know about every single pill your man is taking.

Other Factors

Other factors that can affect a man and whether or not he can get it up include things such as guilt over something that has happened either recently or in his past.

If he is distracted by something else that is on his mind, and sometimes if you have an attitude or the mood is just not right, he may find it a turn off and not be able to get turned on despite both of you trying.

All of these problems have a solution and are not a reason to worry.

As you can see, most of the reasons involve a problem that is outside of your control.

So what can you do? Most of these problems can be fixed normally with a simple solution.

I recently co-authored a book called Bedroom Titan which was designed to deal with all the most common causes of erectile dysfunction BEFORE you seek out those little blue pills.

Some men will actually need medication in order to achieve and erection, but doctors like prescribing them to nearly all of their patients, since they get a kick back.

Before you let him take any (potentially dangerous) medicine for this problem, please do yourself a favor and go through the steps in my book. All of the solutions we discuss are 100% safe, natural and will actually lead to him being healthier all around.

Talk soon,

Joshua Rose

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Leave A Reply (10 comments so far)

  1. Emily
    11 years ago

    @jennifer – yes, boredom sets in. Don’t let anyone tell you guys can get it up as a reflex. Make things exciting for each other and he’ll stay into you.

  2. Kim Rawks
    11 years ago

    I think it’s important for women to know that most of the time (I’ll bet 99% of the time), YOU are not the reason he can’t get it up. So many of us take is personally and it really isn’t.

  3. Jennifer D.
    11 years ago

    Don’t forget boredom. There is a reason couples need to keep things spicy. Believe it or not, sometimes a guy can’t get it up if he’s lost interest in you.

  4. Jenna
    11 years ago

    @sarah true for us girls too! A happy girl is a naughty girl. An unhappy girl ..wants no part of it!!!

  5. Jenna
    11 years ago

    I say ..I can fix that…’suck it soft”! and be sure he takes all the vitamin/herbs I give him with his meals. Trouble is…getting men to realize that I DO know what im giving them and it’s not going to kill them to take some vitamins.

    Thinking back now….maybe the booze is why my husband never wanted to ‘do it’ after we went out drinking for the night. Was always a bummer. Booze and sex go good together , or at least I thought until now.

    Oh well, no harm no foul. Hope he’s playful in personality and let’s me at least look at his nude body anyways

  6. Eugenia
    11 years ago

    I do agree with you, there are so many things that could be the course for this, the main thing is to deal with it, don’t hide it to your partner, that will add up more strain in your relationship, great article again with valuable information, sex is important and exciting and we all love it, helping and understanding each other is important due to all daily stresses we all go through, doing thing diffently to spice up your sex life works well, surprising your partner with new thing and have fun is all good but as long as we know the main course of the stress, we can’t ignore it… it won’t go away until you both deal with the issue.

  7. Jennifer D.
    11 years ago

    They say stress is a killer – in more ways than one. Other than physical health problems, stress is probably the #1 reason not being able to get it up. But I do want to warn other women not to assume guys are just automatons when it comes to sex. BOREDOM can also cause it. Eliminate that potential issue by spicing things up a little.

  8. bree
    11 years ago

    I find it very strange that the meds a man takes to make him less depressed can cause erectile dysfunction. That in itself would make anyone depressed all over again!

  9. sarah
    11 years ago

    Stress is the number one factor for a guy not being able to get it up. Guys don’t like to admit that they have too much stress, but if they could only realize that by reducing it, they would have much better sex, they would be happier in the long run.

  10. Jessica Edwards
    11 years ago

    Interesting article. although I haven’t run into this very often with the men I’ve been with. Only one time and that had to do with some anti-depressants he was on